The last two years have been the most consistently difficult of my life, that I can recall. Yes, there have been struggles in the past, and even times that the depth of the trial was greater than what I’ve experienced the last two years; however, nothing has ever persisted as long as the challenges of these last two years, coming one after another, usually with no more than a day or so of a break, if that. It has reminded me of a beach in the San Diego area where I took the kids once while my husband attended a conference.
This beach was half for surfing and half for swimming. My daughter was 8 at the time, so I still felt she needed close supervision in the ocean. We went to the swimming half of the beach, of course, but it was rougher water than I had ever experienced. The waves would not give us a break. We would no longer regain our footing from one wave, when the next one would knock us down. My daughter and I had to go back up to the beach after 10 minutes just to catch our breath, then we would go back out for another round. It was fun, but exhausting, and just a bit scary for me to be there as the only parent with my three kids, even though the boys were 11 and 14!
Life has been like that for us the last two years. In fact, the “waves” have gotten closer together over this time span, so that there are times these days that it seems we literally can’t breathe, emotionally and mentally, and we are so exhausted we can’t sleep enough to get to the point of feeling refreshed. We need to be rescued, given refuge and a place/time to rest….we need a “beach” on which to lay to get away from the “waves”. This is why we are committed to going on our 25th anniversary family vacation to Hilton Head, even though it’s putting a big strain on our finances. We sooo need this time to just relax and find renewal.
Regardless, I must testify to how God has held us together during all these difficult days. We would be lost without Him and His provisions for us. I’ve almost gotten to the point that I completely stop trying to “work things out” according to our budget and our schedules, and I just take my hands off and wait to see how God is going to work things for our good…..sort of like riding on top of the waves in a little life raft just letting the Ocean take us where it will….
“Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)”
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
[6x]
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
PIECES 