I’ve been tempted today to lose sight of the beauty around me as I was struck first thing this morning with feelings of once again not measuring up. People can be careless with their words and judgements, especially in an email and having never actually met me. I vacillated between feelings of failure and rejection mixed with anger and frustration for a while this morning, yet I had a meeting which required my positivity and letting go of self absorption.
I’m so very thankful that someone else needed me to focus on them. My gratefulness increased even more as I watched the beautiful day unfold outside my office window. I could hardly wait to finish my work and get outside for a walk with the dog.
Perspective can be easily swayed at times by the words and actions of others. Yet, there is nothing quite like being in the midst of God’s creation to help bring the truth of whose I am back into view.
Feeling renewed after my walk (and time spent pretending I’m a nature photographer 😉), the unthoughtful words from that morning email were no longer impacting me.
Then evening came and another behind the scenes set of judgmental comments came to light. Again, these were aspersions cast by someone who has never taken the time to truly know me or my family and who has allowed others who don’t really know us to shape their thoughts and opinions of us.
This obviously troubled me and caused me great frustration, as well as self-doubt. How can fellow members of the Body of Christ sit back and determine they know peoples’ motives and intentions, placing judgment, holding others at arms length and preventing real relationships? It frustrates me the most because of the loss of opportunity for having real, in-depth, reciprocal relationships.
In my sadness and disappointment, I was reminded of Christ. So many misunderstood and misjudged Him, and still do. Matthew 23:37 says that Jesus longed to protect and love all the people of Jerusalem yet they were unwilling. How very sad…
However, for me, this brought back to mind that God understands all our heartaches, all our rejections and hurts because Jesus has felt them all and talks to His Father for us. He hurts with us.
This makes me all the more grateful for the grace given me through the beauty of God’s creation…it is a balm for my spirit that heals and strengthens me.