God loves us unconditionally.  Sometimes, through the work of Christ in us, we are able to love others unconditionally.  This means we love the other, or they love us, no matter what.
It’s typical for most parents to love their children this way, seems to be an automatic ability parents acquire when seeing the face of their newborn.  In turn, this can help us better comprehend how much God loves us, since we are His sons and daughters.

Thinking about loving our children unconditionally, makes me realize that I love them whether or not they live up to any expectations I may have of them.  No matter what they do or don’t do, my love for them is steady and strong.  I would give my life for them even if they walked away from me and never returned.  My love for them would stay strong even if they disappointed me and even if their actions resulted in my having to show them “tough love” and allowing them to deal with the difficult consequences of their actions.

God loves us like this.  He sent His Son to die for us and take the consequences of our actions.  God’s love is so great for us that when we fail to live up to His expectations and desires for us, He goes the extra mile to make a way for us to end up back in right relationship with Him.  This is true unconditional love that extends to us whether we do what is expected of us or not.  It doesn’t mean we won’t face difficult consequences because of the actions we have chosen, but it does mean that we are loved one way or the other, if we meet God’s expectations and desires of us or if we fail to live up to all that God wants for us.  His love never ends.

Once in a while in this life, we experience this kind of love in our relationships outside our immediate families.  I know that I have been blessed with friendships that “stick closer than a brother”, who walk with me through trials and sorrows, and who do not abandon when I fail to live up to their expectations of me.  I would say I have experienced this unconditional love in some of my deepest friendships, and that I have felt the same in return for them, even with one or two who have walked away from the friendship and betrayed a trust that was built – there is still a love in my heart that would welcome them back, no matter what.  I even think, truth be told, if it were down to a last minute choice as to whether my friend would die or if I could take their place, that I would lay down my life for these ones who are dearest to me.

This love is what God desires for His children to have for one another and for Him.  He made us for this because it’s Who He is.  He is this unconditional love, this One who sticks closer than a brother, this Father who welcomes home the prodigal, the One who gave up His Son’s very life so that we might be in right relationship with Him.  In so doing, He has some expectations of us, that we will follow His commands to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love others as we love ourselves.  He will love us whether we meet these expectations or not, but He will also allow the consequences into our lives when we fail to meet His desires for us.

So, if God loves us unconditionally, yet still has hopes, desires, and expectations of us while we are in relationship with Him, wouldn’t it follow that we have hopes, desires, and expectations of each other when we are in this deep fellowship with one another?  Wouldn’t it also follow that our love for each other would remain steady whether or not we live up to each other’s expectations?  Even if there were consequences that followed our failures, it wouldn’t mean that we were unloved by the other or that we had stopped loving the other….  Let’s face it – we are going to disappoint one another and let each other down in this life, and sometimes that might mean that a relationship changes somewhat, but it doesn’t have to mean that love ends.  God can enable us to love each other no matter the circumstances, and above all, we can rest in knowing that He will always love us, unconditionally.

As we worshiped in song in our church service this Easter morning, I was struck by a new way of looking at a truth I’ve known my entire life.  All Christians focus on Christ’s sacrifice on the cross at Easter, as well we should.  I’ve often even thought of His suffering and wondered at the love He had for all of us that He laid down His life in a way that was so brutal.  However, today I thought of Him bearing my cross in a different way.

We are all called to “take up our cross” and follow Him (Matthew 16:24).  Following Him in the way of the cross has always indicated to me that their would be suffering and sacrifice involved in this life.  Today, as we sang a song by Phil Wickham called “This is Amazing Grace”, the thoughts that poured through my mind were images from the movie, “The Passion of the Christ”.  I paused in my mind when the man was made to help Jesus carry His cross.  A new truth that is hidden in this part of the story of Easter dawned on me.

If we are following Christ in taking up our crosses, and Christ had need of someone to help Him finish carrying His cross, than it would lead to the conclusion that we also need someone to help us carry our crosses.  Jesus said He would never leave us or forsake us, therefore, because he knows what it was like to carry the cross and need help, then He is there for us, continually bearing our crosses for us and with us.

We are never alone in whatever hard road of suffering or sacrifice we may face in “taking up our cross” to follow Jesus.

Songwriters
FARRO, JOSH / RIDDLE, JEREMY / WICKHAM, PHIL

Sparkling diamonds,

in the sky and on the ground

takes my breath away

as I lift my eyes to notice

the beauty of God’s creation around me.

Smoke rising from the chimney,

the silence of a winter night

broken by tires crunching in the snow.

My heart desires to soak in the

wonder of it all

while the bitter cold overtakes me and

I quickly retreat back into the warmth.

I used to love that song by Crystal Lewis.  It speaks volumes to my soul.  God has proven it to be true in my life, and now He continues to show His work in the lives of my children.  God uses all things that we deal with in this life to bring us into more Christlikeness.  It’s not fun to go through difficult times, but I’ve learned over the years to not give in to the despair that cries out in the midst of a dark, stormy time.  God walks through those days with us and brings us out into a greater brightness.  He builds our strength as we trust more in Him, sort of like exercising our muscles to build our physical strength.  As we trust in Him, our peace increases, and eventually we are able to be at rest even in the midst of the most turbulent times.

Songwriters
Randy L. Scruggs; John W. Thompson

One of my sons is in his senior year of high school.  We celebrated the end of his soccer season last night.  Three years ago, we were celebrating the end of a different season for him, and we didn’t realize it would be his last in that sport.  Following that season, his values were mocked by the coach and friends he has made in that sport, and he felt God wanted him to leave it.  He never intended to go find something else to play, but as God usually proves, He had a different plan.

For these last three years, our son has played soccer.  He played it for the physical activity, and he gave it his whole heart, for the love of his friends, his band of brothers.  He was more suited to play a different sport, but his stature brought unique skills to soccer.  There actually was an unexpected niche’ for him in this new sport.

Though the team lost a lot of great senior players last year and my son and his friends knew this year would be a tough one, he stuck with it.  When he could’ve returned to play a different sport, one in which he excelled, he remained faithful to the team who had come alongside him and supported his principles when the other guys let him down.  Our son gave his all this soccer season, with very little recognition, and he even scored a goal.  He did it all for the love of his friends, his band of brothers, and to support the team that had supported him and given him a place of acceptance.

I admire my son’s decision and perseverance.  I don’t know that I would’ve had the courage, selflessness, or loyalty to do the same.  I know he has grown spiritually because of his decisions and that God will continue to honor his choice to keep Christ as number one, with friends, family, church, and school all coming before athletics.

Now, he will go to college next year and most likely will be playing another new sport, Rugby!  This will be a new adventure and challenge, but it may prove to be the perfect combination of the skills he’s developed in the last 6 years of middle and high school sports.  I’m excited for this opportunity for him, but more than anything, I anticipate God’s continued work in the life of my son, through his sport as well as all the other priorities in his life.  I’m proud of the example he has set for others, including myself!

I’ve never been more aware of the blessings in my life than I am at this point in time.  For many years, however, I’ve known that responsibility comes along with blessings.  God does not give us His good gifts just for ourselves.  We are called to pour ourselves out for others, just as Christ poured Himself out for us.

I can’t believe it’s almost been three weeks since we returned from our vacation. I meant to write about it sooner…c’est la vie, time marches on…

What a great break we had, and we so needed it! Of course the week was filled with ups and downs, the kind that always arise when you put five people in one van or one small apartment for seven days, yet it was worth it all. We made memories and we shared it as a family; that is priceless.

The first day at the beach, the water was relatively calm. I could actually float for a while without a wave interrupting me. My husband was so excited because he found a conch shell in the ocean when he stepped on it(our family always makes a point to collect as many shells as possible). He grabbed it up and took it back to our spot in the sand, hiding it under a beach towel. We all played in the water a while longer, then my daughter and I decided to go rest for a bit and soak in some sun.

We were laying there listening to a family behind us talking about a crab they had found and arguing about whether or not it was a hermit crab. The dad even “googled” hermit crabs to prove his point that this was one, since the mom said it was too big. He proudly announced it was a a giant conch shell hermit crab….hmmm, that opened my eyes, and I started watching the kids playing with it…was that my husband’s shell? I soon asked my daughter about it, and she checked under the towels where he put the shell…sure enough, it was gone. We started to chuckle and asked the kids where they found it. “It was just crawling over here in the sand”, they said. We shared the story with them, but they didn’t laugh, they just got really protective of their crab. I guess they thought we were going to stake a claim on it and take their new found pet away from them…..honestly, at this point, we didn’t want the shell any longer, not if it had a giant crab in it! (have you looked up giant hermit crabs on google? you should; you wouldn’t want one either!) Ironically, my husband was also a bit upset that the kids ended up with his shell; he had declared ownership of it and thought they had taken it from him. I told him they couldn’t steal something that had voluntarily walked away from his hiding place!

The days slowly moved on as we soaked up every ounce of them. Time at the beach, in the condo, at restaurants, walking to and from the beach, and driving around the island, was treasured and every opportunity for fun or to make a memory was embraced. We laughed a lot, amidst our familial arguments. One recurring source of joy was a baby croc we kept seeing as we walked to and from our condo to the beach.

Don’t get too excited….it was not a crocodile; it was a small, pink baby croc shoe! A toddler must have lost it as she rode in a stroller or was carried to and from the beach. The first day I saw it, I just left it where it was on the side of the road, hoping the family would come back and find it there. I felt a bit sad for them because I know how I am when someone in my family loses something… We kept seeing it there as we walked back and forth 2 or 3 times each day.

Our friends came to visit us late on the fourth day of our stay. As we walked to the beach the next day, their oldest daughter and my oldest son decided to make a game with the baby croc. They would place it in a different spot along our path every time, seeing who would find it next. I smiled as I watched these two college students turn something so silly into a bit of fun, just like when they were little and played together; what a joy to be with our friends and for our kids to have that time together again!

We planned family pictures, with our two individual families and all together, for the last full day of our trip. Our dream of being at the beach with our best friends was coming true and we wanted to capture the moment forever! Besides, it was my husband’s and my 25th anniversary, so we needed to memorialize it. All week, we had noticed family after family who had the same idea as us taking their pictures at the beach. Each one wore white shirts or dresses with denim or khaki bottoms, it seemed. Obviously, our idea wasn’t original!

The kids decided we should take the pictures in the grasses with the ocean off in the background. None of us were thinking of the fact that the tall grasses were in the sand where we had noticed ants crawling all week as we walked the boardwalk to the beachfront. It also didn’t occur to us that those ants might not be friendly.

The bites started almost immediately, but we were determined. We smiled big and kept our feet still long enough to snap pictures, then we danced like we were trying to make it rain. Between the biting and the intense heat, it’s a wonder we accomplished our goal; however, our family pictures turned out great, and we have the memories locked in our hearts forever.

The last two years have been the most consistently difficult of my life, that I can recall.  Yes, there have been struggles in the past, and even times that the depth of the trial was greater than what I’ve experienced the last two years; however, nothing has ever persisted as long as the challenges of these last two years, coming one after another, usually with no more than a day or so of a break, if that.  It has reminded me of a beach in the San Diego area where I took the kids once while my husband attended a conference.

This beach was half for surfing and half for swimming.  My daughter was 8 at the time, so I still felt she needed close supervision in the ocean. We went to the swimming half of the beach, of course, but it was rougher water than I had ever experienced.  The waves would not give us a break.  We would no longer regain our footing from one wave, when the next one would knock us down.  My daughter and I had to go back up to the beach after 10 minutes just to catch our breath, then we would go back out for another round.  It was fun, but exhausting, and just a bit scary for me to be there as the only parent with my three kids, even though the boys were 11 and 14!

Life has been like that for us the last two years.  In fact, the “waves” have gotten closer together over this time span, so that there are times these days that it seems we literally can’t breathe, emotionally and mentally, and we are so exhausted we can’t sleep enough to get to the point of feeling refreshed.  We need to be rescued, given refuge and a place/time to rest….we need a “beach” on which to lay to get away from the “waves”.  This is why we are committed to going on our 25th anniversary family vacation to Hilton Head, even though it’s putting a big strain on our finances.  We sooo need this time to just relax and find renewal.

Regardless, I must testify to how God has held us together during all these difficult days.  We would be lost without Him and His provisions for us.  I’ve almost gotten to the point that I completely stop trying to “work things out” according to our budget and our schedules, and I just take my hands off and wait to see how God is going to work things for our good…..sort of like riding on top of the waves in a little life raft just letting the Ocean take us where it will….

“Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)”

HILLSONG UNITED Lyrics

Play Song

When I was a toddler, my Dad was raising mourning doves up on the hill behind our house in a little cinder block building with chicken wire over the open windows.  We called it the dove cage.  Dad would come in from tending the doves and play with us kids, hug on us, tickle us and such.  Little did we know at the time that this was causing me to have trouble breathing.

At 2 years old, I almost died from asthma.  It took them a while to determine that I was allergic to birds.  Dad released the doves into the woods on the hill, so that they could still be near but he would no longer be the one to care for them.

Over the years, we would always hearing their cooing as they resided in the trees around our home.  It was a comforting sound and one that became associated with the memories of home.

When my husband, kids, and I moved into our home 12 years ago, we realized we had doves who would perch on our chimney and the electric wire in front of our house.  The cooing was such a welcome sound and a reminder of my Dad, who passed away when I was 20.  Now, every year when they return from the winter, my heart is warmed by their sweet sounds and I am always drawn back in my memory to my childhood.  I get a sense of my Dad’s presence, though he’s been in Heaven for 26 years. 

Even more comforting is the reminder of God’s Spirit, His presence in my life.  I would be lost without Him living within my heart, without His guidance and comfort.  How thankful I am for these tangible reminders of both my Earthly and my Heavenly Father.

Do you ever feel completely overwhelmed with all the little things of life?  There are times when I feel there is a little girl inside of me, kicking and screaming, saying “no, I don’t want to do it”.  Then there is the adult me that is just pushing through to take care of the responsibilities that lie before me.  All I want to do at that point is sit and read or watch TV, seemingly “resting”, but actually it’s just avoiding the inevitible.  It feels like paralysis, this inner war between the me that is needing to be taken care of and the me that needs to take care of life.  I think I eat and watch TV as a way of rebellion that gives the little girl what she “wants”, but in reality it’s never really what she, or the adult me, needs. 

We do have to learn to find a balance between life’s responsibilities and caring for ourselves.  If we aren’t taking care of our own needs, then we can’t be the people we need to be for the demands in our lives.  God’s Word tells us to “love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.”  We must all infer from this command that we are to love ourselves, thus the need to care for our own needs.  We need to sleep well, eat right, get adequate exercise, pay attention to our relationships, follow the calling God has for our lives, and spend quality time with Him in prayer and His Word. These are all life-giving to us.  There are also some activities we should avoid or limit in our lives because they are life-taking from us.

I’ve had to learn what actions in my life are life-giving vs. life-taking.  If there isn’t a balance, obviously, the account of my life gets overdrawn and needs some deposits.  Sometimes, it’s out of balance the other way, and then I know that there need to be more withdrawals, which would mean service to others.  Finding this balance is individualized for each of God’s children, and sometimes it still alludes me. Learning to recognize the crisis within, the war between the different parts of myself, is a helpful indicator that something is out of balance.  I’m still learning how to address this, but God is gracious and patient with me as I learn.