“Some people grumble because roses have thorns.  I am thankful that thorns have roses.”  Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr

I’m spending November intentionally focused on thankfulness.  I do love Thanksgiving, and not really because of the food.  I’ve tried to make this month have gratitude at it’s center ever since my kids were little.

So really, being thankful is most often an intentional choice and very often it is simply a matter of one’s perspective, switching from looking at a circumstance one way so that you can see the positives instead.

The quote I’m sharing is one example.  Another would be that I’m thankful for needing to rake again so I can get in some good cardio, OR, I’m thankful for all the leaves in my flower bed because they will protect my plants over the harsh winter.

I wasn’t always a glass half full kind of person. It took a very dear friend to help me turn my perspective around. There are still times I am tempted to think of the negative, but I fight against it actively. I’m so grateful for a persistent friend who impacted my life so positively!

What are some things in your life that you could grumble about today?  Can you take a different look at those things and come up with something for which to be grateful?

Some of my biggest blessings in life are my 3 children, and today I’m especially thankful for our middle child as it’s his 26th birthday.

The meaning of his name, Noah, is rest. He did bring a calm into our lives when he was born. I was so grateful he was such a good baby!

Today, I continue to feel blessed to be Noah’s mom. I’m proud of who he is and the man he’s becoming as he seeks to help others, especially children , living it out this year in Spain teaching ESL. Thank you God for Noah’s life.

I’m turning towards November with my thoughts concentrated on thankfulness. My plan is to post everyday. To begin, I simply want to express how thankful I am for Fall, for colors, for all the birthdays in our family, for leaves that crunch and apples and cinnamon and all that Fall brings….

My husband and I love to decorate for Fall, and our yard just seems to cooperate right along with us in our decorating. Here are some pictures to try to express the beauty:

No one has the exact experiences or traits as any other one person. The closest any person can come to having the same set of traits and experiences as anyone else is in the case of identical twins. Nature and nurture considered, circumstances and situations, personality types and mental capacities, every little nuance in each individual’s life means that it is pretty near impossible for anyone to be able to fully understand where someone else is coming from when they live, react, make choices, and journey through life’s ups and downs.

All that being said, no individual can pass judgement on someone else by comparing their circumstances and actions to one’s own. We can have a level of empathy from going through very similar situations at times, and some people have an empathic ability that can truly feel what someone else is feeling and sit with them in that feeling, even if that empath hasn’t truly experienced the other’s same set of troubles or sorrows. But, beyond that empathy, we don’t , in this life, truly know the other person’s nuances of experiences, character traits, family situations, reasons for choices, and so on.

Therefore, how can anyone assume to grasp what another is feeling and suffering and then purport to exclaim that the one who is struggling shouldn’t need to do so if they would just choose to live life the way that the other person, the one who is judging, has lived? How can any person make a blanket statement that generalizes the circumstances of another, or a group of others, casting judgements, stating opinions, and saying that those others need to be doing life differently, better, handling the blows of life more like the one who is making the generalizations?

Until we reach eternity and know as we are known, we would be wise to sit and listen to others, to consider their stories and the nuances of their lives, finding connections, yes, but reveling in the differences, learning from the varieties of perspectives of every person whom we meet. Welcoming each other in and all of our stories to be told is the essence of intellectual hospitality, and really, just plan ole hospitality. God ultimately made us for union with God and with one another, but the fullness of that reality will not be met until the other side of our current life as we know it. From this moment forward until we are beyond death and dwelling in the forever after, each of us as individuals can only reach towards unity if we are willing to forego our preconceived notions of how others “should” act and react, and then open ourselves to learning all we can of each other’s differences, the depths of the beauty and mystery found in each person’s unique minority.

What seems like a very long time ago, and it has been over 20 years, I spent much of my time either dwelling on circumstances that had already passed or thinking of scenarios that might happen in the future. I would replay events and conversations that had happened, over and over in my head, or my imagination would create potential actions and words of conversations that I could have in my future. I was stuck in a cycle that kept me from actually living in the moments I was experiencing.

It took many years of God working through friends and books, through Bible studies and songs, and even some therapy, to get me to a place where I began to be intentional about living in the present moment. I consciously fought to shut out the what-ifs or might-have-beens, and instead, to focus on what was the reality before me. Breath prayers, talking with God throughout each moment of my day, and purposeful mindfulness pushed me forward.

These last couple of years, I find I am keenly aware of the present, and rarely do I find myself mulling over past moments or being concerned about the future. This place of groundedness and peace has not come easy, and the events of reality in our world at large, and sometimes in my small little corner of it, still tempt me at times to want to escape from the present moment. I confess I sometimes do escape by getting lost in a story on one streaming service or another.

Nature is one constant that can always bring me back to the present moment, whether it’s watching birds eat at the feeder out my back window in the winter or noticing all the beautiful flowers on my walk around our neighborhood in summer or seeing the squirrels playing all through the trees behind our house all year long. I can depend on creation to bring me back to my center because it always directs my focus to the Creator of all, who is I AM , the ultimate source of all that is the present.

I had the opportunity to visit where our family used to live last week. A park is there that was created within and around the ruins of an old glass plant that had once been a booming business hub for the area. As you look at these pictures, it may simply seem like modern art, or one could easily dismiss them as the ruins they are. Another viewpoint would be to view them as a redeeming of what was lost and repurposing of these ruins as a place of beauty that offers the community a lovely place to gather, to exercise, to fish, to bike, to have fun as families and friends. How you view these remains is completely dependent on the lens you use…

It reminded me of the work of Jesus in my life and the lives of anyone who believes in Him as the Son of God, and chooses to follow His example of life, of service, of death, and of love. I see the same examples in nature as Spring bursts forth with flowers, new life from the old dead ruins from last year’s growing season. It’s that simple to grasp, no matter the complexities that evolve as we delve deeper into following Him, the starting point is simply a matter of a choice to believe and follow….yet again, completely dependent on the lens you use, how you choose to see it all.

May we continually choose to see through the lens of love….

This week marked what would have been my dad’s 100th birthday. He passed away in 1987, though, at the age of 65. I never had the opportunity to know and love him during my adult life, since I was 19 when he passed.

I almost died when I was 2 years old, from asthma. My earliest memory actually comes from this trauma. I recall being in bed, someone caring for me, and having difficulty breathing. At the time, I had no idea of the importance of all that was happening, of course. I really only know from the stories of others that mom and dad were so worried and it took a while for them to discern what was causing me to be asthmatic.

My dad raised doves. He had a large cinder block dove cage up on the hill behind our house. He would come in from tending them and I suppose I would hug him or sit on his lap. As it turns out, I was, and am, allergic to doves. I’m actually allergic to all feathers, even in a feather pillow, as well as all other animals with fur…except dogs.

Dad gave up the doves, letting them go to live in the wood on the hill behind our home. I got better, though I did have a lot of other allergy problems and was given dimetapp to get me through all the symptoms for all my years of growing up. I don’t have any clue why mom and dad didn’t take me to an allergist to get tested or have me put on allergy shots. I do know that my dad became hyperaware of anything that might affect my breathing.

When I became a teen and started messing with my hair more, and using hair spray, dad would often express concern about the spray. It aggravated me at the time, as most teens would react to well-meaning parental concern. I didn’t understand why he was concerned at the time, but as I think back, and now that I’ve been a parent myself for these past 28 years, I can get why he was worried, albeit misplaced.

My dad loved me, and though he wasn’t perfect, he showed his care for me, his pride in who I was, and his belief in who I was becoming. No, I didn’t know him as an adult daughter should know her father, but in my memories of him, I’ve had this wonderful gift. Everywhere I’ve lived over these years, there have been doves who nest somewhere close to my home. I hear them coo in their mournful way, and I am comforted, reminded of my dad and the sacrifice he made so that I could be well.

…cats too! Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 … what a beautiful and fascinating place!

Our family was blessed with the gift of a family trip from our oldest son to all the other 6 of us, to cover 2021 birthdays and Christmas presents. It was much needed, and it was the first time for all 7 of us to do a trip together. What an overall joy it was!

There were chickens and lizards round every corner , it seemed. Crowing woke us each morning, for several hours, and the croaking of the Coqui 🐸 frogs soothed us each evening as we shared dinner and played games on the patio. (The frogs were too elusive for a pic). Cats were wondering around many yards and streets as well, with a sweet black cat, Onyx, taking up residence in our Airbnb’s courtyard. (who crawled up behind me on the chair as I was putting bandaids on Jenna😊).

Yes, we had some injuries, along with sunburns. Michael fractured/broke/jammed a toe on a rock in the ocean, and Jenna twisted her ankle and got some scrapes when she fell off /wrecked a scooter. Also, I had plenty of blisters from all the walking we did, so we were very thankful for the first aid kits provided !

There were such stark contrasts all around us between the poverty and the upper class /tourist areas. You may not know, as I didn’t, that almost 50% of Puerto Ricans are living below the poverty line. Some of this can surely be contributed to by all the damage the island has had from hurricanes, but beyond that, the deeper issues seem to relate to the fact of their being a part of the US and the negative impact the US government’s economic “rules” have had on the Puerto Rican people. It saddened me, and I won’t soon forget these facts of life there.

Friday night, we ate at a cute gastro pub type of restaurant on Condado. Legend wanted to find a place for dancing and our server suggested La Placita. It was only a mile away and I was tired of Ubering everywhere, so I thought we could handle walking. This was a big mistake!! That mile took us into some very questionable neighborhoods and Michael’s toe was throbbing, as well as my getting more blisters. La Placita turned out to be a fun, culturally enticing place, but we were too early for the dancing and all exhausted after the long walk. No pics taken during this little jaunt, but we definitely learned the hard way… if we ever return, I’d for sure go back to La Placita, particularly in the daytime, for the open air market.

Of course, the natural beauty was breathtaking, and much of the architecture of Old San Juan was incredible. The Fort of Castillo San Felipe del Morro was especially impactful.

Naturally, we ate some great meals while there. Barbacoa was our first night and had the best guacamole and fresh mojitos. Old San Juan was fun to find a simple cafe for paninis and such, then we went for churros and ice cream in the T mobile district. Shrimp tacos in Condado were fabulous, and we tried Mofongo and fried plaintain. Breakfast out at Cafe’ Bistro after sunrise on Saturday was amazing!

Of course, the time at the ocean was my favorite part! We ended our trip with a final walk to enjoy the sun and sand and water one last time…

I’m so very thankful for this time to get away and just be a family together.

I’ve watched people walk by my window for a number of years and thought, “I want to be a person that walks on a regular basis.” There were times in my past, more often than not, that I was that person, but for quite a number of years now, that hasn’t been me.

It’s not that I haven’t walked at all. I have had my share of times when I’ve walked around the neighborhood or gone to “hike” in the arboretum down the street. I just haven’t been consistent.

Last year, my bloodwork showed that my bad cholesterol had gotten higher than my good cholesterol (though my overall cholesterol was still “normal”). I took some action with my diet and added in an Omega 3 supplement that I thought would help. After a few months, my bloodwork showed very little change. I told my doctor I didn’t understand, and she said that consistent exercise is really the best way to keep cholesterol in check.

Well, 5 months later, in October, after I turned 54, I decided to commit to following this walking app I had found. I told myself I would follow it for 12 weeks. Technically, that 12 weeks should almost be up, but I’m still working the plan. There were days when I had so much other physical activity from yard work, or walking all day Christmas shopping, that I figured I could skip using the app. Then, there were days that were too busy with holidays, family gatherings, travel, weather, etc. However, I haven’t given up.

After the first 6 weeks, it was time again for bloodwork, and to my satisfaction, my cholesterol had decreased overall as well as specifically bringing down my bad cholesterol. It’s working and that was just the motivation I needed to keep going with following the walking app. I won’t stop until I complete the 12 weeks on the app….and then , I still won’t stop.

I’m becoming that walking person that I desired to be and I don’t ever want to go back to being a person who just watches the walking people go by. Walking is once again becoming second nature to me. I desire it, and this is such a positive thing for me!

The fact is, this is how we develop and grow into people of virtue. We choose behaviors, consistently, day after day, following disciplines, that turn into habits, and the more we repeat them, the more they become a part of who we are. There are things that come more natural to us that we picked up as children that seem like they’ve always been a part of who we are; loving to learn has been that way for me. Yet, other good behaviors haven’t come so naturally to me, and those require more concentrated effort, choices to be disciplined, to develop habits that will eventually become second nature.

Four and a half years ago, God opened the way for us to move to this neighborhood and into our home, both of which have felt like places with more space to breathe, to be and to become. Now that I’ve allowed the influences and inspiration around me to lead me to become a walking person, that victory is pushing me forward to work on some other habits that have needed my attention, other behaviors I want to change or new ones to develop. I’m so thankful to have more emotional and mental space in my life now so that I can think through choices that lead me to disciplines that will overcome some bad habits, developing new ones that will become second nature, in time.

I’m thanking God for his answers to my prayers, for his ways of working things for my good, for his provisions and his care. “When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (Ps. 118:5-6)

This Advent season was a time of contemplation for me, though I was outwardly busy with the usual buying of gifts, preparing for family gatherings, decking the halls and such…. From the first part of December forward, I had one line of thought running through my mind and heart. God empathizes with us; God sits with us in our sorrows and our struggles and completely understands all that we are experiencing.

Why and How? Because of Jesus coming and putting on our flesh, walking where we have walked, feeling hungry, having sadnesses and joys in his life, getting tired and having sore feet from walking all over Israel….everything that Jesus experienced as a man enabled God to fully understand us as humans. God has always been love as primarily who God is, but because of Jesus, God’s love for us grew even deeper. I keep thinking that maybe this is why the God of the Old Testament seems a bit different than the God of the New Testament….

My heart has been soothed in ways I never fully realized prior to this Christmas season. I want to encourage you to invite God to come sit with you in your hard human places and to let God love you there, to realize that God fully understands what you are dealing with as a human, God truly empathizes…. as our world has gone crazy with the chaos of Covid and climate change, and all the ways life has challenged us as humans, as a country, as individuals, in these last couple years….God gets it in ways we probably don’t even yet understand ourselves.

As 2022 begins and we end up the 12 days of Christmas with Epiphany on January 6, I hope for you to feel a new Light in your spirit as you let God into your world just a little further…. God’s love brings a Light that will shine for you in all your darknesses when all other lights have gone out. I pray that you feel God’s Presence and Light in all the times and seasons ahead in this year.

A Time for Everything – Ecclesiastes

3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet, no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.