You gotta let go….

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So, as an illustration, here’s a “day in the life” for me:  yesterday, after making breakfast for my daughter and myself, then packing her a lunch, I came to work at 8 and had to post an argument in my Philosophy course for my Masters online.  I read my email devotionals and wrote a couple of meaningful emails to dear friends (by that, I mean they were long…..).  I scheduled to meet with someone about a potential job.  I paid bills and scheduled payments online throughout the day (because I can do that at my work when I don’t have a customer), and I spent my lunch finishing them up.  I read through the posts of my colleagues throughout the afternoon, knowing I needed to do a peer response by this morning.  When I got off work at 4, I immediately went to vote.  My husband was home, so I asked him to turn on the grill for chicken and turn on water to boil for macaroni.  I made it home by 4:30 and worked on dinner until we ate at 5:30.  Then, I decided to rest a little while and fell asleep on the couch from 6-7 (thank the Lord).  I then got up, cleaned up the kitchen (making individual containers to take to a friend today who is recovering from knee replacement), started some laundry to wash and emptied some trash cans, then I changed to go work out.  I was at the fitness center until 8:30, when I decided I needed to run to Dollar General before I went home.  Once home, at 9, I remembered my daughter was going to help me color my hair (because the grays were getting out of hand), and while I waited on my hair to be done, we watched Gray’s Anatomy re-runs to wind down as a family, because that’s what we do to decompress, watch Netflix.

After all that, I still felt guilty……..I didn’t remember to call my mom at a decent time when she would be up and able to answer; I didn’t vacuum the living room rug that is terrible right now; I didn’t remember to close the grill cover until time to go to bed!; I didn’t remember I need to change beds and clean the bathroom; I didn’t pull the dead stuff out of the flower bed to make room for the new daffodils that are about to bloom….and there are still multiple things I didn’t do!!!  I didn’t prepare for my small group this evening, so I’m doing that today.  I didn’t do the peer response for my course, so I had to do it this morning….and on it goes.  Yet, I still laid my head down and slept soundly last night.

The fact is, I am more than the sum of what I do.  God loves me regardless of how many items I accomplish in a day.  All I can do is my best, depending on the Spirit in all of it.  Sometimes, I’m not productive at all.  Yesterday was actually fairly productive, and obviously, even on a good day, I still don’t meet all of the needs of my own life or the lives of those around me.  I’m sure you can relate……which is why I’m writing this.

You gotta let go of beating yourself up over all the little things, and I’m partly talking to myself in this, as well.  Make a list, set priorities, look at due dates, include family time, friend time, God time, and time to take care of yourself.  Then take one thing at a time, one step forward, always making progress.  Even if you slip up on a day, show yourself some grace…God does.  God’s patience with us is far greater than what we give ourselves.  Learn to rest in His love for you…….and remember to breathe deeply with every little frustration you face, every disappointment and setback……and let God transform your expectations of yourself.

 

About Tara Lea

I'm a mom and wife first and foremost. I offer Life Coaching, as well as speaking for church retreats, while writing and teaching as opportunities become available. Writing, speaking, teaching, and coaching are my means for fulfilling my life calling of helping others fit together the pieces of their lives so they can move closer to becoming all God means for them to be.

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