My son and I were honored to be able to attend a 9/11 memorial service yesterday, on the 15th anniversary of the terrible attacks in 2001. We were near Philadelphia, having gone to an Adele concert in Philly the night before. The memorial was at a fire station in King of Prussia, PA. Two firefighters from the station had died when the fire department responded to help NY in the recovery after the attacks. I was moved greatly by the memorial and the attention to detail that was given in order to show great honor to all those who died  in NY, the Pentagon, and on Flight 93. 

During her concert the night before, Adele paid honor by dedicating a song to all those who gave their lives or lost loved ones in 9/11. She brought the reality home by saying that 15 years ago that night there were 3000 people who ate their last dinner with family or friends. Pondering this truth gave me great pause. 

I try to live my life in such a way that I’m always prepared to die, attempting to make sure the people in my life know they are loved and that I have asked for or offered forgiveness where needed. Yet, I know at any given moment there is potential unfinished business with some person or another in my life. 

I’m far from perfect in my relationships. Only God loves perfectly. However, I am committed to continuing to stay surrendered to God’s work in me that is slowly transforming my feeble, human love into the image of God’s perfect love in me. 

As I continue to pursue becoming holistically healthier by the time I’m 50 (next year, 10/19/2017), and as I’m in this time of transition with my job and family, I’m realizing that finding a “new normal”that is balanced is quite challenging. I’m working on getting into a routine that works for me on all fronts (i.e., home, work, family, friends), yet life stuff can always happen and interrupt the routine.  This calls for flexibility and sometimes means failed plans. 

The realization that has hit me is that I must be gracious with myself. It’s making more and more sense to me that we all must love ourselves well before we can truly love God and others. It’s all wrapped up together, sort of like the Trinity, and similar to the beauty of a how the lyrics, instruments, and timing come together in one of Adele’s songs or   how the planning, funding, and design of the memorial meshed into a piece of history that will reach people for years to come.