The first day of Christmas is actually December 25, and it is obviously the celebration of Christ’s birth. In the song we all know and love , the Twelve Days of Christmas, Jesus is the Patridge in a Pear Tree as well as “my True Love”, according to Ann Ball in her book, Handbook of Catholic Sacramentals.

Ann puts forth that the song was written with two meanings, one being hidden and only known to members of the Catholic Church during the time period between 1558-1829, when Roman Catholics in England were not allowed to openly practice their faith.

The second day of two turtle doves, according to this book, stood for the Old and New Testaments. In another perspective, the second day of Christmas, Dec 26, is when the Feast if St Stephen is celebrated. This is the feast we sing about in Good King Wincelas.

Stephen was the first Christian martyr and is especially honored for feeding the poor. This day is also known as Boxing Day and has a focus of giving leftovers to the poor.

For me, on this 26th of Dec, I have been tired and wanting to recuperate from the busy weekend. We are leftovers, but we didn’t give them away. However, we did welcome an old friend to dinner and games in our home. This has brought me a sense of joy this evening.

My joy isn’t quite the same as those who might be trying to honor the memory of Stephen, however, I do believe it may come from a similar place in my soul that only God could fully understand. It’s a giving of the love of Christ in a different way than feeding the poor, but regardless, it does come from that same depth.

I’m especially struck by the two turtle doves reference in all this, because of how doves always symbolize peace. Peace is needed in this old friendship , and it has been given tonight. I think this is what has brought me joy as we bought a meal for our old friend tonight and welcomed him to our home.

or is it?

We rushed around and filled most every moment in the weeks leading up to Christmas , yet by the end of Christmas Day, pretty much everything has come to a screeching halt. Suddenly , I’m aware of the longing that remains.

In spite of having a wonderful Christmas season, still there is an emptiness that cries out in my spirit. The temptation is to try to fill it as quickly as possible with the next event or with guests yet to come. However, I was reminded in the last few days that this longing lingers for a reason.

We are still in the waiting. Though Christmas celebrates the fulfillment of the long awaited promise of the Messiah, there is still a promise we await to be fulfilled. We are supposed to feel an emptiness, as we desire to be restored, for Christ to come again, for God’s Kingdom to reign again and make all things new.

We can rest in that promise and trust God will complete it as He has fulfilled all the rest of His promises. Therefore, even as we put our new things away that we got for presents today, we can look to the next celebration and day of remembrance, Epiphany, which honors the revelation of Christ to the gentiles when the Magi (three kings/wise men) found Jesus under the star.

Many people around the world celebrate Epiphany , and some celebrate several “feasts” in between Christmas and Epiphany. This is the origin of the true 12 Days of Christmas, and this will be my focus the next 12 days.

I began 2017 by concentrating on the time between Epiphany and Easter, roughly 100 days. I write about my 💯 days of Joy, purposefully grasping for all of the “Light” I could find in each day, as I struggled with seasonal depression and the challenges of life I was facing at that time.

I find it only fitting that I end 2017 and begin 2018 by focusing on these days leading up to Epiphany. I pray for more Light and more Joy to be discovered during these twelve days of Christmas, for myself, and for any who read this. I want more Joy, more awareness of Jesus and God’s presence, and more Light to shine on me and through me as I feel the longing and continue in the waiting…

A favorite Bible verse I often quote is Proverbs 27:1…”boast not thyself of tomorrow for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.”(KJV)  If ever a verse held universal truth, it is this one. We really never know what a day might bring our way, of good or not so good.

We have had some interesting days of late, with our mail being stolen twice.  Once was a box that had been delivered to our front porch, after dark.  The second happened this week when a stranger took our outgoing Christmas letters from our mailbox that had our flag up.  Another stranger happened to see the first man walking and seemingly dropping mail along the way.  Second stranger went and picked up the mail, discovering it was from our house.  Thankfully, the second man (who is a former marine, former policeman, current postal worker on leave for a physical injury) came to our door to share what he had witnessed.

I was grateful for this second stranger for a couple reasons, one being so we could know that some people on our Christmas card list might not be getting their letters we mailed.  The second reason is because I planned to mail a couple of more valuable cards the next day, and because of this second stranger, I sent those to the post office with my husband for him to mail them.  I’m thankful for a stranger willing to help in the midst of his busy day…

Yet, on the other hand, even though these incidents surprised us and left us feeling violated and unsure of who to trust, our experience with the mail this holiday season is a mild setback compared to what others are facing when their days bring forth much more than they desired to know or experience.  I’m thinking of a couple of friends who have lost loved ones this Christmastime, and still others who have received the cancer diagnosis that isn’t curable, who know that goodbyes are not too far away. There are also friends and others on my heart who are facing financial unknowns and hardships, as well as those struggling with difficult emotional challenges.

We truly don’t know what a day will bring into our lives.  This is why living my best each day has become more and more important to me.  I am still learning and growing, developing disciplines that move me forward towards holistic wellness.  I do this for others in my life; I do this to honor my relationship with God, and I do this for my own self.

Self-care gets a bad rap in Christian circles.  Many believers think we must always sacrifice every aspect of self in order to put others first.  However, if we aren’t taking care of ourselves, “loving ourselves”, well, then we cannot be fully able to love God and others well.

For myself, at this time, as I’ve written the last couple of months, my focus is on physical self-care.  The last couple weeks haven’t been so stellar in this area.  Who am I kidding…? The last two weeks have been pretty bad, with eating wrong, lack of true exercise, and missing the mark with consistent taking of my new med.

My goal for the holidays was to maintain the small forward progress I had made.  That hasn’t been so true the last couple of weeks; however, I have been very aware, and for me, awareness means I’m learning.  I’ve been observing myself, my behaviors and habits, my reactions to my med, to exercise, to food.

I’ve seen that my new medication does actually seem to be working, though I didn’t really think it was.  Also, after I worked hard in the yard last evening, raking the last of our leaves and bagging them, I had such a better sense of the good I feel when I do that kind of physical work, and also a relief of my anxiety (it’s a much better feeling than when I drink a Coca Cola to ease my stress!).  I’ve also observed how yucky I feel when I give in to eat the cookies that are lying around instead of a veggie or fruit.

So, I believe today will be a better day and this coming week will be more on target, even with Christmas baking still to do and the anxiety of company coming to manage.  I feel hopeful and have an underlying sense of that joy I’ve been clinging to all this year since epiphany.

My plan is to write consistently from Christmas day to epiphany, to celebrate and understand better the true “twelve days of Christmas”, and to wrap up this year of my focus on joy.  I also hope to hone my focus onto others, to be holding people in my heart whom I won’t be seeing this season, to do for those around me now that I can take the opportunity to see, even if for only a few moments, and to also re-claim some of my own boundaries that are needed in order for me to properly take care of myself.

All of that to say that I encourage you on this shortest day of the year to consider what it means to live each day with the knowledge that you do not know what tomorrow may bring.  We can make plans, and we should, but we also must live with the awareness that our plans may never come to fruition, that life may interrupt them or that death may steal them.  Let’s make the most of each moment, be present where we are, and quit putting off til tomorrow what we can do today.

I pray God’s blessings for you, for Christmas and always.  May your family and friend time be rich and full….but if it isn’t, and even if it is, may you truly sense God’s presence and His deep, deep love for you.

I’ve been noticing so much beauty in the sky the last couple weeks. As I drove across town to watch some of my young nieces last night, I was struck again by the incredible display of colors in the sky, and it suddenly dawned on me…. the sky is so much more apparent because the leaves are gone.

The dark forms of the empty branches are etched in fine detail in front of the glorious colors of the sunset. Black silhouettes which are hidden by leaves most of the year, and are indistinguishable once it’s dark, pop out before me, drawing my attention. I suddenly realize how this scene before me relates to God’s light in our dark times.

Sometimes we are walking through sheer darkness, unable to see, and feel hopeless and fearful. Those are the times we need some light shining behind the darkness to encourage us and ease our fears. People in our lives can make all the difference in dispelling that darkness.

I’m thankful for the emails, texts, calls I get at just the right time, as well as the inspirational devotionals, songs, tweets and articles that come across my social media. When I’m down, unmotivated, or feeling helpless, God’s light comes through to me in all those seemingly little ways, and I gain understanding, peace, faith, and hope to push me forward.

My health journey since my last post has continued steadily. Recovering from a Thanksgiving was a challenge, but I’m back on track. Staying active has been easy lately, eating less carbs is going so-so, but overall, I’m moving in the right direction. In full disclosure, I started a new med to help me get my sugar under control, in hopes that diet and exercise will get me to the point of not needing medication.

I continue to appreciate your thoughts, prayers, and encouragement. My goal for the coming week is to stay active and to eat more veggies. God bless you in your Christmas shopping, decorating, and celebrating. 🎄

As it is with anything in life worth learning, becoming healthier physically is a process. I have found that keeping track of my food and exercise, as well as the exercise itself, takes up some time and I often just don’t feel like writing anything more. So, that’s my reason for not being consistent with this blog. I’m going to work on that.

The fact of the matter is also that I’m still getting into the routine of this new life, after having moved from a place I had lived for 18 years. There are a lot of mindsets from which I had gotten used to operating that I’m now trying to change. This too is a process.

However, I am making some progress with this health journey. I’m recording my food and exercise in My Fitness Pal, which is a great app. I’ve found it difficult to make it to Anytime Fitness to work with weights, but I’m adapting by playing tug of war with our 50lb puppy. Even walking her has become more of a workout , since she tends to pull me along much of the time.

Food wise, I’ve eliminated drinking Coca Cola. Low carbs is still my goal, but for now , I’m just eating less of them, trying to gradually reach my goal without setting myself up for failure (especially during the holidays ). I am considering doing the Whole 30 challenge, sometime after the new year.

An important aspect of seeking greater health is visiting my doctor. Starting out with a new doctor, since I’m in a new location, is always a scary thing for me. However, I think I’ve found someone I can trust, who is hearing me, and is going to work with me in this journey to become healthier. She ran all the usual blood work and such, so we are on our way on this journey.

Now, here we are at the beginning of holiday season. My hope for Thanksgiving week is to maintain and not regress. Mostly, I want to focus on being thankful without having any regrets.

May God bless your time with family and friends as well as bring you a deepened sense of gratefulness in all things. I’ll catch you again after Thanksgiving week.

I’ve not found many things in life worth arguing to prove my point or establish my way is best. Most of my life I’ve kept my mouth shut when others have disagreed, unless a subject has been vital to life and to following Christ. 

Many times, I have allowed my needs to be walked all over for the sake of letting someone else have their way, putting them first because what they wanted seemed more important to them than what I wanted. I have had to learn in the last several years that sometimes I have to draw a boundary to protect myself because there are times that what I want is actually what is best for me, so letting the “other” have their way will end up hurting me in some way. 

This might mean protecting my time that I need for rest or reflection or to accomplish tasks that I absolutely have to do. Sometimes it means not eating certain foods because those foods will make me ill. Still other instances have brought me to have to step back from a friendship because being in relationship with that person has proved to be detrimental to my emotional health and overall more hurtful than is healthy for me to continue. 

Still, with all that being said, there are relationships that are so important to me, people I love so much, that I allow my priorities and feelings to be hi-jacked and decimated by theirs.  I put them first, out of love. I let them have their points of view, their choices, their way of doing life, and I set aside my own, even when my own might be something I truly need to be healthy (such as time to sleep or think…).

All this to say, my schedule for healthier choices has been thrown off a bit by my failure to insist on my own needs. I’m not sure if this is right or wrong in the grand scheme of life, but I’m surrendered to being transformed by God no matter what, in all things. 

As for my health journey, exercise has been off this week. My goal for the week ahead is to get back on track with it as well as to cut pop back out of my life. I’ll report back here next Thursday. 

Blessings! 

So last week wasn’t a total bust, and I haven’t avoided writing my Friday post. Truth is I have been incredibly busy for days as I celebrated my 50th. 

My family surprised me with a party of many close friends and family. 6 of them stayed with us over the weekend and my oldest son stayed through today.  I felt loved on, cared for, and honored to have the gift of such relationships in my life. 

Now, I’m still recovering from my exhaustion after so much fun! 😂 The great part is that I got some great exercise in the process.

 I had walked the dog some last week, but I hadn’t made it to our fitness center. However, I had the chance to hike twice in the last few days and yesterday I did some tiring yard work. Therefore, overall, I’m calling it a win in my quest to increase my activity level. 

To switch my focus to this week, my plan is to make it to the fitness center twice and then get cardio as many times as possible. I appreciate your prayers if you think of me. 

“Today I saw a beauty contest brief, between a rainbow and an autumn leaf.”  

The juxtaposition of these contrasting beauties describe well my life this week. My emotions have been a roller coaster since I wrote last week, but overall, it’s been filled with much joy. 

I find I’m generally in a much better place interiorly than I’ve been for much of my adult life.  There are more evidences of happiness in my heart, even though I carry a great sadness of which I’m aware most of the time.    The difference is that I’m learning to  accept the presence of that sadness as a part of my reality, feeling the undercurrent of it, not fighting it but also not allowing it to pull me under. 

As for my goals for exercise this week, I would say i was up and down with it, as well. However, I did walk three times and go to my workout place once to do the weights. Next week, I’m keeping my goal of 3 days of walking and 2 of weights. 

If you think of me during the week, please lift me up in prayer.  Godbis at work in me. I know that I’m finding that my joy these days is often mixed with legitimate happiness, and I’m so grateful to God for His transforming power at work in my life. 

Regrouping is something I’ve learned to do often the last couple of years. It doesn’t mean I’m starting all over from scratch.  It simply means that I’ve passed through one part of my journey and now a new path has emerged, so I need to re-work my plan in order to keep moving forward and not get stuck.  I’ve been in this re-grouping mode the last month or so. 

Making a move, getting settled and beginning new jobs are all natural causes for starting a new part of a journey.  I’m now at the point of feeling like my exterior circumstances are getting enough into a routine that I can refocus to my interior life. As I spoke of in my last blog post, my physical needs are going to be my new focus for the year ahead. 

I turn 50 in a couple weeks, so now is my time to enact my first steps in this part of my journey. To begin, I’m committing to writing here at least once/week, probably on Fridays. That starts now, with this post. 

My next step is to get exercising consistently back into gear. I have more of a routine starting to fall into place, therefore I believe I can begin to get into an exercise groove. I have mostly exercised consistently since I was a teen , but times of great change and chaos have interfered with this aspect of my life off and on as I’ve raised my kids. I exercise to feel better, mostly, and to be a good steward of this body God has loaned to me. It’s time to tackle re-establishing good habits and discipline in this area of my life. 

My commitment between now and next Friday is to go to my workout center twice and to walk, and/or bike, at home, 3 times.  This might be too much to start off , but fir now, that’s my goal. As October moves forward, this will be my focus, then food will be my objective for November.   

I would appreciate prayer support from any of you who read this. God bless you!


I’ve not written much the last few months since I completed my 💯 days of JOY series. There’s been so much in my life with two graduations, selling our home, buying a home, finding jobs, moving, settling in, helping our son move, our daughter transitioning from the only town and friends she’s ever known, getting a puppy and the normal stuff of birthdays, family and friend times, and summer/college transitions for our other son.  Whew! It’s no wonder I haven’t felt much like writing!!

I’m now beginning to feel more “normal”….finding new routines and such. I’m ready to be more intentional in creating and establishing new disciplines that will continue to move me forward in my life. 

I began a purposeful journey about 3 years ago with the intent of finding greater life balance by my 50th birthday. Well, I turn 50 next month, and I do feel I’ve made much progress in my quest for holistic life balance.  Yet, one area is still lagging behind the others. 

My approach to life balance is based on Jesus’ example found in the Gospels.  He is the best example we have of living s balanced life. When studying His life, I find 6 areas that make up His humanity: mental, spiritual, emotional, physical, vocational, and social. These areas have been my focus in my pursuit for holistic life balance. 

A couple of these areas are natural strengths for me while I have to be more intentional in several of the areas. My most challenging area is physical. Because of this being such a weakness in my life, I didn’t give it as much effort in the last year as I was facing so much change in every other area. 

My new desire is to give my physical needs and weaknesses attention in this 50th year of my life. I want to move towards consistent health and wellness by exercising regularly, wisely, and purposefully as well as by seeking medical help for some chronic issues I’ve been experiencing. Finally, I want to sincerely address lifestyle changes in my eating that will lead to hopefully losing 50 lbs. 

Therefore, with all this in mind , I share this here in hopes to inspire, support, encourage any who might read it, but also because this serves as a place for me to find accountability. I will share more as I decide on my methods and short term goals that can help me begin to reach towards my long term goals. Ultimately, I hope to pursue more and more joy in all of this, for myself as well as for others.